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Drowning:
The Depths of Cultural Expectations
I was trying to live up to the expectations of what being a good girl means my entire life and I fit the bill almost perfectly.
Smart. Ambitious. Highly Capable. Loving. Selfless. I did everything everyone ever wanted of me.
I was drowning in a sea of expectations set by a culture convincing me to continue, at all costs.
I began to see that when I was striving to meet all those expectations that others had set for me, my feelings about my life and myself got worse, not better. The more I tried to conform, to meet the vast expectations of me, the more underwater I felt in my own life. Submerged, hidden, drowning. I was gasping for air while fighting to keep my head above water.
My movements were actually pushing me deeper, counter-intuitive. I reached a point of complete exhaustion in all areas of my life that brought me to the sea floor - to the carpet of despair, knowing I had it all, but had lost myself to get it. I nearly drowned, losing myself entirely to the undercurrent.
I decided that I could no longer drown in my own life.
Unlearn How to Drown → Learn to Float
I’d had enough.
I left relationships, changed how I earned, sold everything, and burned down the false beliefs I was living by. And boy, did it hurt - in the most uncomfortable and healing ways.
I learned to float, immersed still in the expectations of the water, but existing in calm confidence that I could regain my breath. I learned to shift from submerged in culture, feeling trapped and drowning, to becoming a buoyant self-supporting person who can calmly exist in the culture by learning self trust.
I’ve helped many other women do this, too.
This was made possible by each of us acknowledging the false belief that the water is too deep and all-encompassing to save ourselves. I had to unlearn how to drown before I could learn to live, and swim, as me.
Unlock My Inner Truth → Learn to Tread Water
Shedding the expectations and obligations imposed on me made space for self-discovery, and eventually, self-determination.
Living life on your own terms requires us to investigate what those terms truly are, without the outside voices and influences telling us what to think. In the void of former expectations I chose to reject after careful examination of them, I unlocked my true self and what I really want for my life, moving from the external to the internal inquiry.
I can and did discover my own beliefs and how I want to live by learning how to tread the waters of culture.
I unlocked my sovereign values, worth, ideas, and purpose as I got to know myself, living life on my own terms more and more each day.
Unleash As Me → Learn to Swim
I was so inspired by my confident water-treading skills that I was compelled to swim, unleashing my truest self into the culture one stroke and kick at a time, honing my style, technique, and resistance to the flow as I found mine.
I now live in cohesion, not agreement, with the culture that surrounds me.
I eventually moved to trust that it can support me even when it tries to pull me under - that we are one, me and the waters of culture. I know that I can exercise sovereign acts of agency in support of myself while immersed in messages to conform to what isn’t for me. I’ve learned to embrace the push back on my expressions of agency as an undercurrent reminding me that I am a strong enough swimmer now to keep pace despite.
I co-exist with culture now, swimming upriver right through the current, into slipsteams of ease and flow, in full trust and intimacy of myself as a cultural swimmer capable of moving back to treading or floating as my resilience to those currents wavers in my human experience.
Live as Me – Set Sail
In fact, I have learned to sail, too. As a bi-product of living this way, I can now confidently rise above what pulls me under by boarding my own personal vessel designed to find and catch the force of life guiding me to live my purpose.
To navigate the cultural waters from above the surface, catching the wind of my intuitive personal leadership and keeping my eyes on the horizon ahead. My compass is now my heart, and my intuition is my validation - I have learned to live life from within. And you can, too.
The Movement
Others started to notice my liberation and changed perspective, and then I began teaching my method.
I bottled it into 9 principles and a fluid practice known as Unlearn Unlock Unleash - How to live life as you in a culture convincing you not to.
Now, I am sharing this tool and practice so that everyone can benefit from learning how to live life as they are, helping to end the wastefulness of limiting the choices, and thereby contributions, of women all over the world.
Find your flow.
Expose your greatness.
Fulfill Your Purpose.
We need you out there, for the sake of us all.
Become part of the movement of women living life on their terms, infiltrating the culture while living inside it.
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My invitation to you
is found in the episodes of my fun, bold and brave podcast The Disruptive Diva Show, about how I did this for myself and showcasing others who have too.
My heart, head, quick wit, and experience is wide open there for you to be invited to find yourself in my story - all the rawness, spice, and juiciness included.
Listen in and drop your questions, stories and comments on my FAQ page.
I will review your contributions and transform them into more content on this site to help everyone from all diverse lived experiences to share what this concept and practice means to them, to offer a community space for all those learning to live life as their true selves.
